come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize