Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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