shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
