Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
