If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
BRING THE BAGELS
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
