I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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