how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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