i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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