i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
