Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Randomize
