you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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