dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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