After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
