You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
