And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
