im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
