I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can you bring me the toilet please
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize