When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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