Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
