i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
