Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
