Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
