this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
