Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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