i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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