I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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