PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
