I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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