I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
