wakey wakey hands off snakey
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
