My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
