Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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