Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize