Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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