no, he came in my armpit
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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