Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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