Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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