did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
