Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize