ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
this hospital has no fireball
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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