Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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