Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
