let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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