So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
