I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This house was built for laser tag.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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