a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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