I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
