omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
