You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
