I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
