Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
