Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
