We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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