Will you blow on my dice?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
