a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize