Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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