I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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