theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
