So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
