I'm jealous of your bromance
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so let's talk penis.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
