It's Friday. Sex?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize