Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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