Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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