I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
