I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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