We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize