Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
