I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I could make wine with my vomit
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
