I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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