I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
