I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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