Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
