mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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