mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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